You, young hottie in knit cap coming out of Target 3/6 before lunchtime. Me, mom-type in zipped sweater and black glasses. Our eyes met for an electric sec, I felt a connection. Let's aim for afternoon delight while husband is away.
Okay, I really did see a cute guy while shopping this morning and he glanced in my general direction, but that's where my story ends. And I suspect most of the "chance meeting" entries in the personal ads have about the same amount of substance as mine. Some of them are witty ("crippling Robin's egg addiction") and some are respectably sexy ("I can do other creative things!"), and most do seem rooted in an actual contact that someone would likely remember, even if only vaguely ("Burlingame Fred Meyer, buying cat food"). I certainly don't begrudge people trying to sustain moments that made them feel noticed and special, but many of these ads drip with desperation, and where can you possibly go with that? Besides the psych ward, I mean.
This one, for example: "SW Oak & First - 2/16/07 @ 8:30 a.m. On opposite sides of the street waiting for the light. You: smiling at me. I giggled, smiled back. Held eye contact, I said “Hi.” You had nice energy!" First of all, this person giggled when someone smiled at her (I'm just guessing it's not a him; I could be wrong). And freely admitted it. In print. Then, she said "Hi" but apparently the guy with "nice energy" did not say "Hi" back. Why pursue this? I'm stumped.
I'm seriously perplexed by this one: "You with guitar: saw you at the PDX POP Now! last July. Meet me at this years festival August 3rd-5th. xoxoxo." This 'encounter' (I SAW you? Not kissed, stroked, pawed at...) happened nine months ago! And it involves a musician! There is nothing wrong with musicians, I've swooned over many, but my experience is that fans remember them with far more clarity than they remember fans. For good reason, of course - bright lights, concentrating on performing, possible paternity suits...Girlfriend has a much better chance with someone she giggles at in a crosswalk.
This one is a little weird, but it's definitely specific and somehow endearing: "YOU: jewish architect on the nerdcycle riding with no hands in SE. ME: thinking you’re adorable. Let’s get the spotted owl out of the barn. Yay~" My questions are - how does she know he's Jewish? Is a nerdcycle a brand of bike or is she kind of insulting him? And what does it mean to 'get the spotted owl out of the barn'? Am I being extremely naive here? I love the "Yay" at the end though.
Stalker alert: "2/11 @ Banana, 2/18 @ Whole Foods. Tall guy, brown hair, green eyes, jeans, t-shirt. Me: Girl in hospital scrubs, behind you in line while you returned pin-stripe slacks. Then eye contact on stairs @ Whole Foods." She knows this guy's eye color, memorized what he was returning at Banana Republic, and found him a week later at the grocery store? If I recognized myself in this ad, I'd call the police.
Here's a syrupy waste of money, sure to make this guy bolt before he can buckle his belt: "Jim Jim: Saw you when I rolled over in bed this morning...what a delight! Same time tomorrow? For the rest of our lives?" And how, exactly, does this qualify as a "chance meeting"?
And the winner of Most Cryptic Ad of the week: "Your sagittal crest climbing Smith with mutual friends months ago. Received so much energy witnessing your soul then, it reverberates in return encompassing your cargo box. Grateful moonstone genie." I can't tell if there are typos throughout this or maybe the writer speaks English as a second language, but if she gets a positive response they are truly meant for each other. I suppose that's what everyone is looking for with these wacky remembrances, posted for the world to read.
Who am I to judge?
